1 March 2025: Somebody once very special introduced me to Ahmad Jamal. Being the brat I was, I scoffed and undermined her taste in music. Jazz was less of a musing to me and more of a showoff.
As time passed, I discovered a tremendous, isolated joy in listening to Ahmad Jamal, particularly this composition. It says that he loves music, but it speaks something very, very different. It is erratic, melancholic, grudge-bearing, sometimes clumsy and sometimes satin smooth -- most importantly it is very, very incosistent. Almost humanly, almost superhumanly so. Even when the accompaniment kicks it. It has a very dissonant progression that loops flawlessly without giving the slightest hint how. It's a well-kept secret, a mystical formula that should never work out, and yet it does.
I apologized for criticizing her taste in music. It was never enough, but she accepted it. I hope she has found a peaceful way to life now, after so many years.
20 March 2026: This is the hymn of someone who has sat down with life's checklist of unfinished business in a bid to make progress. A yellow desklamp, the window beside and the street dimly glowing through, and a notebook in front. Or maybe the laptop. Page after page filling up with words long overdue; or maybe equations. Not sure. Man really only creates out of necessity.